Everything so far | Pinegrove

Release Date
November 20th, 2015

New Friends
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is there anyone here i know?
i look around the room, whatever, i let it go
steve’s in germany
thats it
i try to think of anyone else no, yea that’s it
so i resolve to make new friends
i liked my old ones but i fucked up so i’ll start again

what’s the worst that could happen

strings fray like my good days
tied around my finger i felt so afraid
i had my mind on her or on my own
and when i
looked back up everybody else was gone
so
i resolve to make new friends
someone tell me to quit my head
and help me forget it

what’s the worst that could happen
the end of summer and i’m still in love with her
i said forget it
was it worse that i wasn’t sure
the end of summer and i’m still in love with her
i said forget it
forget it
forget
it
Angelina
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washing windows with angelina
i don’t understand anything
violent angles from side to side
how’d you get so tangled up in my life?
how’d you get so caught?
how’d you get so tangled up?

i love you like it’s the old days
when i could ask you anything
how’d you get so tangled up in my thinkin?
how’d you get so caught?
how’d you get so tangled up?
Problems
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this is how i spend my life up
singin old songs
what if i waste my life up?
& all my problems
it’s so stupid
they’re not even problems
it was supposed to snow
& it did for a minute
but there’s no distraction now
or we could spend these years up
on the phone
but is that much better?
it was supposed to snow
but it didn’t
so there’s no excuses now
Need
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it’s a long way
through the cold day
why do i need
besides what i
recoil & lay beside/s
why do i need that
i drank too much
she thinks i think too much
what do i need
that’s not a part of me
do i care about my brain
remembering everything?
i remember everything
Overthrown
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get on
get overthrown
get out
get on
get overthrown
you lay
you lay
you seize the day
don’t you know
i’m seizing slow
Size of the Moon
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do you wanna dance?
fine. but do you remember when
in your living room
when we made some room & moved ourselves around in it?
it’s how my heart resumed.
i got caught/ you got those caravaggio moves
we had some good ideas but we never left that fucking room

do you wanna talk?
fine. i’ll talk it out with my dad
it’s always nice what he says
he’ll have some good advice from something in a book he read
if i did what i wanted then why do i feel so bad?

would you like a drink
while we wait for everything
to get good again?
we’re good at things & so are a lot of our friends
we should all be rich & making moves like nancy kerrigan, yea

i dont know what
i’m afraid of
but i’m afraid
one day it all
will fall away
maybe i read that
but still, let’s see
if nothing else it’s an idle curiosity

so would you like that drink?
fine, yea i know. i remember that too
in your living room, right?
when we began to fight but then we both got confused
then we were laughing & crying in awe of the size of the moon

do you want to die?
fine you’re right
but i wonder what it feels like
to stop feelin so alive
what if we could wake up in five years and things’d be feelin alright?
i wanna visit the future and dance in a field of light!
Need 2
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i’m out
there’s nothing here to care about
what’s that sound?
what’s that song about?
it’s nothing worth me sayin aloud
so then why do i seem to
need to?
why do i seem to
need to?
Namesake
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i’m misaligned
misanthropy to pass the time
this crooked jaw
i’m always feeling awful

i’m so ashamed
yes that’s it i’m so ashamed
& so is she

i’m so awake
the reverberating seam of daybreak
the hem where night falls again
is splitting into livid mistakes

i’ve been tryin to say
but these awful letters rearrange
my name: my namesake

look around
these redundancies resound
take this sound:
how the architecture
meanders

oh my my
i can’t get it off my mind
your fingers curled:
a contorted row of antlers
are you reaching out to me oh god
V
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I’ve been avoiding the void
but I can’t see the point
were you talkin to me
o, my eyes were closed I’m sorry

When you talk in your sleep
you draw me out from underneath
take your hand in my hand
bloodbrother ampersand

& the blood will flow
in the morning when my thoughts are flowing also
you only know what you notice
& no, you don’t know me.

If you’re askin ‘how could I know’
then you don’t know me
or if I want it bad enough
broken
branches in your eyelids
& your iris:
a violent violet

If you could see me now!
&
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Hand over hand
I’m pulling myself together
on this itchy couch again
I’d pull you in
but
I couldn’t help thinking
or
my mouth was tarpaulin

let me start again:
I didn’t mean to say so
much about my plans
so you see my hand
(see?) it’s never either/or now
stigmata ampersand

The morning is the self it’s self evident:
a clattering of blinds:
a mimetic wind:
a sympathetic tremor I’m
a tessela of signs.

o I close my eyes &:
fractal inner rings of varicose resign!
coiled dark inside
I’ll open my eyes and clear my
throat when I know it’s time:
AAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOUU
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Unison
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I was warned about you
but then, I was worn
through
then
but then I let the sound in
of torches along the path’s edge
rustling in my eyes & ears
our eyes & ears
hours would pass & nothing…

All contorted in row
these antlers don’t
cut
through
nor do they tessellate with
anything along where we’re walking
cutting out
& in
& out & out & in
again
hours would pass & nothing…

I know you
you know our bodies move in unison
the answer’s within that
I could be burning houses but i’m not.
I knew you
I thought our bodies moved in unison
Lucile, I rescind that
I could be burning houses but I’m not
I’m not
I’m not
I’m not
I’m not.
Palisade
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I don’t think this is where we end
but I’ve got some things that we must attend to.
I’ve been indiscriminate
but I can’t hide behind accidentals.

Now,
I’ve been saying somethings I don’t like
but what else can I identify with?
I can’t sleep I’m on them vines.

I knew those easy days,
long days,
long aisles in between me.
I’m living on easy line,
blue vine,
then I’m sick, I’m sleeping all the time.

I said I’d be there, so I’ll come & let you in.

O, it’s for you, Leo,
from across the meridian.
When I was over you
my arms were trembling.

I said I’d be there, so I’ll come & let you in.
The Metronome
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the night my
necklace fell off
you fluttered through my
capillaries like a
stone moth

i agree with your ideas but not your tactics
so look me in the eye & be practical
when practically there’s nothing left for me to say or do
it’s only up to you

a live ladybug
trapped between my toes:
keep it together man
we’re all connected now
stay composed

i agree with your ideas but not your tactics
so look me in the eye & be practical
when practically there’s nothing left for me to say or do
it’s only up to you

the current picture: the metronome;
i don’t know what this is but it’s not my home

i thought that we were falling in love
but we weren’t; only i was

i agree with your ideas but not your tactics
so look me in the eye & be practical
when practically there’s nothing left for me to say or do
it’s only up to you
Mather Knoll
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You said wake up
when the curtains are moving out and in.
I said that might not be too far from the truth,
anyways.

I’ll buy you breakfast,
I’ll buy you medicine.
You’re calling me out,
you’re calling me in.

Little thoughts running,
it’s not a problem,
it’ll come back.
I’ll get to hand shaking
when I wanna.
I can’t be alone enough.

I can’t be alone enough.

Walking awful quiet
I could organize my head:
compartmentalizing it,
starting out with our impediments.
I can’t have breakfast without you calling me!
(You’re calling me out, you’re calling me in.)

Little thoughts running,
it’s not a problem,
it’ll come back.
I’ll get to hand shaking
when I wanna.
I can’t be alone enough.

I can’t be alone enough.

Go back to the safe side,
go back to Mather Knoll.

Go back to the safe side,
go back to Mather Knoll.

Go back to the safe side,
go back to Mather Knoll.

Go back to the safe side,
go back to Mather Knoll.
Over My Shoulder
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Quick shadow dribbling down me:
I’m looking over my shoulder.
Justifying anything’s easy,
like, you look when you hear a sound.

Somebody once told me,
“Loosen up your eyes
because it feels nice,”
then no more on that subject.
I blindly led you on & me in the process.

Thick pupil dilating quietly:
I’m looking over my shoulder.
Just if I’m within the interstices,
then I’m looking for when you come ‘round.

Somebody once told me:
“Loosen up your eyes
because it feels nice,”
but then no more on that subject.
I blindly led you on & me in the process.

Don’t ask how my day was,
don’t ask anything else.
(Where did all the time go? // Where’d you put my suitcase?)
Peeling off the Bark
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Leaning in a dark room:
a look alike James Wright
(when all my life I’ve been rejecting,
what will I say yes to?).
What did I say yes to?
I’d been cutting glass carefully
& all my time was spent alone;
I didn’t expect you.

What did I say yes to?
What did I say?
Been talking ‘bout you so much
I’m talking you away.
(What did I say yes to?
What did I say?
I’ve been talking about you so much
I’m talking you away.)

Cooking up some mushroom in my kitchen,
tryna tell you about my month;
you’re only half-listening.

I know I never listen;
how can I? Your eyes bloom:
slanted yellow in the blinds
bleeding into a dark room.

So how could I say yes to you?
What should I say?
I’ve been talking ‘bout you so much
Yea, what did I say yes to?
What did I say?

I’ve been thinking ‘bout you so much
I think I’m thinking you away.

I’m opening it up now:
What a plunge! What a lark!
I’m picking all the seeds out,
I’m peeling off the bark.
I’m picking all the seeds out!
I’m breaking it apart.
I’m opening it up now,
I’m peeling off the bark.
Morningtime
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What if I went down to the pinegrove & didn’t find anything?
What if I went past it, yet nothing in me sang?
Now I’m behind again because my bones won’t align that way.
Some other time, in another life.

Ever since “The Archangel
Michael Killing Satan”
I’ve been tryna capture
both ends of the splinter:
the visible part between my fingernails
& the part still in my finger.
Ever since I can remember,
since the day before they split,
I’ve been tryna capture
some realm I don’t know yet.
You & I, we’re immiscible.
I’ve known it since we laid in the thistles.
& in the moments when I’m difficult
you silence me in my revolt.

Every since “I,”
since the moments when the night limped by,
& all of a sudden it was morningtime.
Morningtime, morningtime.
Recycling
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Rolling on his back like an ocelot
crawling on his stomach you make the lids stick together
nothing really bugs me out
nothing really bugs me.

Tightening the slack on the millimeter tape
trudging through your stomach I make the walls split forever
nothing really bugs me out
nothing really bugs me

anymore. I’ve had enough.
Now we’re on the same page.

Circling the gap like you don’t know what you hold
drying out my knuckles you tucked it between the folds
nothing really bugs me out
nothing really bugs me.

Recycling the cans at the center by the boxcars
we’ve been carving little symbols in the bark
nothing really bugs me out
nothing really bugs me
out.

So let it go:
there’s nothing I could tell you
that you don’t already know.
Sunday
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I woke up it was Saturday,
grey in the sky,
there’s nothing more to say on that.

I got up got out of my bed,
stretched my arms wide,
it’s time to let this fall from me.

It’s time to let it fall.

I move through & just as soon
my clothes are catching on.
(My eyes closed, lost in my room.)
I move through & just assume
my clothes are catching on thorns,
but I’m bringing them with me,
bringing them with me.

Call me on Sunday.
Call me!
Call me!
Call me on Sunday.

I move through & just as soon
my clothes are catching on.
I’ll come through, I always do.

When I’m moving I just assume
my clothes are catching on thorns,
but I’m bringing them with me,
bringing them with me.

I never kept good touch.
But it’s alright, you never expected much.
On Jet Lag
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Don’t tell me that the west has won;
we worked hard to reverse that notion.
Closer than anyone, but we’re not for each other, no:
I’ve got to crack my eyes to watch the wind blow.

Cat’s Cradle is a fable, we all know that.
Soon as I can I will slide that under the table.
I met your mother and you father & I liked them;
they bicker the way we bicker,
the way we bicker.

A black cat just snuck up on me;
activities and distractions are my remedy.
You’re writing by lamp light, you’re writing by the moon rise:
a stark contrast to the Montclairian buzz skies.

Cat’s Cradle is a fable, we all know that.
Soon as I can I will slide that under the table.
I met your mother and you father & I liked them;
they bicker the way we bicker,
back when our blood was thicker than oil
& the soil was in every spark & every pore
& everything. My departure made my nerves sting.
It’s leaving a person place or thing you know you shouldn’t.

On jet lag: I’m past that.
Plainly, none of this is that bad.
He said, “let me be clear this woman’s crazy.”
I caught a glimpse of your truth as you turned to me
& it was kind & it was stubborn, just like I’d like mine to be
so I will dissuade, I will just sleep.
I can be patient, probably.
DAYS
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I’m in bed for days
with a toothache.
I’ve been dead for days.
Oo.oO in the summertime.
Oo.oO when I’m so inclined.

I’m in bed for days
with a toothache.
I’ve been dead for days.
Oo.oO in the summertime.
Oo.oO when I’m so inclined.
Oo.oO you’re that jagged line:
you’re my heartbeat.

You’re my heartbeat!

I flip the on-switch,
I mark where I tread!
I put the sand in my,
I put the sand in my bed!