We recorded these songs towards the end of our tour with Kevin Devine, Petal, & Julien Baker—the last run of a year in which we played almost 200 shows! This release is intended as a thank you letter to everybody who supported us in any way. It was a challenging year, but So rewarding to meet so many wonderful people, & to learn a little more about what this good country is really like. We have found it to be beautiful the whole way through, populated by excellent people everywhere. We thank you sincerely for your help, your love, & your generosity. This tour took us across the United States through the days leading up to the 2016 US election, election day, & the aftermath. We felt consequently that it’s an especially good time to do what we can to promote love & equality. As a small gesture of commitment to the cause, this album is available for free or donation, & all profits will be donated to the Southern Poverty Law Center. Thanks again.
Love,
Evan Stephens Hall
01.20.2017
released January 20, 2017
performed by:
Evan Stephens Hall (vocals / guitar)
Nandi Rose Plunkett (vocals / keyboard / percussion)
Josh Marre (guitar / vocals)
Adan Carlo (bass)
Sam Skinner (guitar)
Zack Levine (drums / vocals)
Release Date
January 20th, 2017
i’m spectral for days on end these days
with thoughts about visiting
so how about my voice rings out for you
& you could tell me what you’re doin?
\
well
the truth is i lost all track of time
& i wound up wandering
& unravelling fragments all inside
but i rise up aligning
cuz the truth is
i don’t know what
but you did it
AAAAAAAA
but
how long will i wander by your side
how long will i wander?
i wonder if that’s what it might feel like
i figured i’d warn ya
i am out of my god damn mind & out to california
follow along the dotted line with
with arcs of our blood
the truth is i
don’t know what
i’ma find it
AAAAAAAA
after the drugs have worn off
& we’re brittle in the light
would you still be there for me
still do things for me?
soul on the radio
shakin your car around
city to city
montclair & elsewhere
nervous about goin over
its all true
i like you
you move me
but the truth is
i don’t know what
i thought i knew it
AAAAAAAA
washing windows with angelina
i don’t understand anything
violent angles from side to side
how’d you get so tangled up in my life?
how’d you get so caught?
how’d you get so tangled up?
i love you like it’s the old days
when i could ask you anything
how’d you get so tangled up in my thinking?
how’d you get so caught?
how’d you get so tangled up?
walkin outside labyrinthian over
cracks along under the trees
i know this town grounded in a compass
cardinal landing in the dogwood
i keep goin over it over & over
my steps iterate my shame
how come every outcome’s such a comedown
lately afternoon with the shades drawn down
i kept sayin i just wanted to see you
sayin what’s wrong with that?
needle shakin outlines in a compass
every outcome’s such a comedown
i knew it when i saw it
so i did just what i wanted
so i go through with this
i knew happiness when i saw it
i saw your boyfriend at the port authority
that’s a sort of fucked up place
well so i averted my stride on a quick one
he’s coming back from goin over your place, huh
i feel like we could forget about it
i feel like i could mellow out
i don’t feel undone in a big way
there’s nothing really bad to be upset about, well
just when i thought i was getting better i
woke up on the ground
an appointment or a disappointment
any outcome’s such a comedown
as if i needed a reminder
that i do only what i wanna
so i go through with this
walkin out in the nighttime springtime
needling my way home
i saw leah on the bus a few months ago
i saw some old friends at her funeral
my steps keep splitting my grief through these
solipsistic moods
i should call my parents when i think of them
i should tell my friends when i love them
maybe i should’ve got out a bit more
when you guys where still in town
but i got too caught up in my own shit
that’s how every outcome’s such a comedown
i knew it when i saw it
o, i did just what i wanted
so i go through with this
i knew happiness when i saw it
& i saw it
so satisfied i said a lot of things tonight
so long aphasia & the ways it kept me hiding
it’s not so much exactly all the words i used
it’s more that i was somehow down to let them loose
so complicated i cant wait to get explaining
your listening distended out since i’ve been crying
so long aphasia & the ways it kept me hidden
so long to silent nerves & hesitant oblivion
you came & sent me out unfurling in the street
& i felt unprecedented confidence in speaking
stick around im thinking things’ll be alright
newly delivered wont you live with me tonight
something tonight was such a letdown on my pride
it takes a part of me i don’t got to take some things in stride
i’d pace around the place so quiet in myself
id wake the next & see my silence went unfelt
just when i thought i had this pattern sorted out
apparently my ventricles are full of doubt
now
nah things go wrong sometimes don’t let it freak you out
but if i don’t have you by me then i’ll go underground!
nah but what you’ve got was in your reaches all along
plus one day you’ll be reaching for me & i’ll be gone
to help remind myself I wrote this little song
one day i won’t need your love
one day i won’t define myself by the one i’m thinkin of
& if one day i won’t need it
one day you won’t need it
rolling on his back like an ocelot
crawling on his stomach you make the lids stick together
nothing really bugs me out
nothing really bugs me
tightening the slack on the millimeter tape
trudging through your stomach i make the walls split forever
nothing really bugs me out
nothing really bugs me
anymore anymore anymore anymore
i’ve had enough
now we’re on the same page
now we’re on the same page!
circling the gap like you don’t know what you hold
drying out my knuckles you tucked it between the fold
nothing really bugs me out
nothing really bugs me
recycling the cans at the center by the boxcars
we’ve been carving little symbols in the bark
nothing really bugs me out
nothing really bugs me
out
so let it go:
there’s nothing I could tell you
that you don’t already know!
i was walkin with my neck out
some ways i wish i was
was walkin with my neck out in some ways that i wish that i was
out on the bevel of sound it sounds like everything else
you’ll know it when you hear it cuz u know the way my voice felt
ignore my tone & everything i sing i sing for me
ignore the phone on your bed it rings it rings it rings
shirt collar ringin me out & my collar bone got all red
& already severing prose i wrote so i sing instead
i hold you put your neck out tell me the ways you wish you were
keep your confidence sound, your hook my eye my spur
so when i went to hang out, i hung behind your eyes
but my eyes still flicker with doubt
quickly o i cant decide
i’m tapped out
don’t it always seem to go that
you could hold it right in your hands collapsing & still not know
(your hands’ collapse & still not know)
say what it is
say how it is with everybody i know
i’ve got no temper for that
i send you this
cadmium red, one for every layer i shed
& i shed one layer for thisss
say what it is
it’s so impossible
but if i just say what it is
it tends to sublimate away
when i was looking to drop
my life away
more every year
i shine light on edges i tried to unfeel
but we’ve gotta do better than that
some sortin out
so i’ll be sittin on the outskirts if you wanna talk about it
things in there were just gettin so loud
say what it is
it’s so impossible
but i just say what it is
it tends to sublimate away
when i was looking to drop
my life away
do you wanna dance?
fine
but do you remember when
in your living room
when we made some room & moved ourselves around in it?
it’s how my heart resumed
i got caught/ you got those caravaggio moves
we had some good ideas but we never left that fucking room
do you wanna talk?
fine
i’ll talk it out with my dad
it’s always nice what he says
he’ll have some good advice from something in a book he read
if i did what i wanted then why do i feel so bad?
would you like a drink
while we wait for everything
to get good again?
we’re good at things & so are a lot of our friends
we should forget these setbacks & get back movin again
i dont know what
i’m afraid of
but i’m afraid
one day it all
will fall away
maybe i read that
but still, let’s see
if nothing else it’s an idle curiosity
so would you like that drink?
fine, yea i know. i remember that too
in your living room, right?
when we began to fight but then we both got confused
then we were laughing & crying in awe of the size of the moon do you want to die?
fine you’re right
but i wonder what it feels like
to stop feelin so alive
what if we could wake up in five years & things’d be feelin alright?
i wanna visit the future & dance in a field of light!
is there anyone here i know?
i look around the room, whatever, i let it go
steve’s in germany
thats it
i try to think of anyone else no, yea that’s it
so i resolve to make new friends
i liked my old ones but i fucked up so i’ll start again
what’s the worst that could happen
strings fray like my good days
tied around my finger i felt so afraid
i had my mind on her or on my own
and when i
looked back up everybody else was gone
so
i resolve to make new friends
someone tell me to quit my head
and help me forget it
what’s the worst that could happen
the end of summer and i’m still in love with her
i said forget it
was it worse that i wasn’t sure
the end of summer and i’m still in love with her
i said forget it
forget it
forget
it