performed by
Evan Stephens Hall
singing
guitars
some drums & percussion
a synth or two
Zack Levine
drums & percussion
Sam Skinner
guitars
piano
synth
organ
keys
bowed bass strings
accordion on a song
electric bass on 1 & 1/2 songs
triangle
Megan Benavente
electric bass
Joshua F. Marré
guitars
slide guitar
nylon string guitar
processed guitar
with
Doug Hall
piano
organ
synth
Nandi Rose (appearing courtesy of ANTI-)
singing
Sammy Maine
singing on flora
Chris Walla
a handful of guitars
some keyboards
a tambourine
songs by
Evan Stephens Hall
except “let” by Evan Stephens Hall
& Sam Skinner
produced by
Evan Stephens Hall & Sam Skinner
mixed by
Chris Walla
except
“orange” & “11th hour” mixed by
Chris Walla & Sam Skinner
engineered by
Sam Skinner
with additional engineering by:
Evan
Megan
Nandi
Josh
Zack
Chris
mastered by
Joao Carvalho
cover painting by
Evan Stephens Hall
design by
Mira Moore with Evan Stephens Hall
photographs by
Evan Stephens Hall & Sammy Maine
11:11, the simplest pattern, a line of trees, people shoulder to shoulder, the letter ‘I’ itself, the pinegrove, myself. the time that most resembles corduroy, one minute in the morning (& if you’re lucky, again at night) when the portal opens & you briefly see through the ethereal smoke to something actual. i lean the painting against the window. trees wiggle like toothpicks in the background. the painting is absorbed in scene, forest print green couch, knit heathered spring green blanket. watching last summer’s fires glowing in the west through my little glowing rectangle. videos of cops brutalizing people protesting police brutality. this summer’s smoke diaphanous today across the catskills. orlando pressed medusalike against the kitchen window.
hazy afternoon, but beautiful.
Release date
January 28, 2022
it’s so still
how’d you do that?
you settled down my habitat
downhill
through the speed trap
& the agitated aftermath
when across the state
is gone & dilapidated
the wheel froze
& it sounded like cymbals
the birds exploded off the eve
i read my name
& i scream like a kettle
metabolize the memory
when across the state
is gone & dilapidated
& it feels a little bit empty
a riddle of empathy
//
in the morning i’ll go
through the cold
but not alone
//
did i forget
my teacher says
the precipice
the precedent
the depressing question
of our time
of civilwarland
in bad decline
i want to see
the present tense
in retrospect
a monument
been through benthic tides
& vandalized
before my eyes
before i die
never forget
the t-shirt says
with no mask on
last month
in alaska
with the pattern of
my life laid out
& i asked what
i’d been asking you
like trees repeat
like numerals do
like a ladder
to the atmosphere
the rungs each come
again & again
& i let it
land me down
& tether me
till i get it
when we landed
in orlando
the local time
was 11:11
the pilot
had his eyes closed
through that opalescent
open road
& then time spread
& expanded
the lines fanned out
across the land
& i let it
land me down
& tether me
till i get it
can i leave
the canopy
forever
& land me
down
eternally
i swallow my pride
the animals outside
are loving in the humid day
light
i followed it inside
from room to room to try to
see if something catches me
right
but nothing i try
can abbreviate the time
can alleviate my mind
when
you
get
down
stay
down
way
down
weighed
down
when
you
get
down
stay
down
way
down
weighed
down
then later this week
i’ll leak a bit of iodine
from my eye like that brilliant
video
i’m spiraled up inside
my iridescent mind
is reaching up for something pure & or
actual
but nothing i try
can abbreviate the time
can alleviate my mind
when
you
get
down
stay
down
way
down
weighed
down
when
you
get
down
lay
down
way
down
weighed
down
i try to wrap
my head around
an eye for an eye
full of iodine
i try to remember
the history of time
i try to laugh
or sleep it off
that awful feeling
something’s off
by eye i measure
the narrow length across
today the sky is orange
& you & i know why
i try to warn
my senator
he said that he
invented it
& that i should feel happy
he talked to me at all
i try to down
the bluest pill
the author of
the fucking bill
bragging on youtube
the criminals he’ll kill
they’re trying ignore it
we always knew they’d try
today the sky is orange
& you & i know why
i insist it wasn’t always like this
i saw the sun saw red in the grass
with every fiber vibrating alive
so i lie down & lower my eyes
until the sun fell low in the yard
feeling the territory comin down
then i’m out
i don’t hear the sound
& i know i’m lost
wherever i walk
now
& i’m walkin
outside nothing feels good
take a blue meander into the woods
where nothing’s shining like i feel like it should
& the birds sing dissident tunes
singing the sadness of the afternoon
& all the distance i’m hearing it through
then i’m out
i don’t hear the sound
& i know i’m lost
wherever i walk
now
i’m bowing down now
through the flora
i’m bending
down
to the floor
now
i’m dreaming
don’t worry
i’m praying
now
to the forest
to the flora
to the floor
now
in acknowledgement
we’re falling back into
a dead end routine
you recommend i breathe
that nothing in this world
could unfurl me as completely
like a pelican
i crash against the wind
feeling elegant
the trees beneath my feet
the confusion rattles me
& so i try to take it easy
i take it day by day
& just do my best to respirate
we’re having a hard time now
finding a good way out
when corona hit
i was already feeling
pretty out of it
frustrated with myself
frustrated with my fellows
all of them meant well
but that does not allow
for any of the things
that we just talked about
the space between the trees
the patience that you need
for real clarity to reach you
so take it day by day
& just do your best to respirate
you’re having a hard time now
finding a good way out
well me also but
no one’s gonna rescue us
no one’ll care if we spend our lives up
but i care now
i’m not gonna let you
down
i let you down today
the day the calendar’s a palindrome
with each second reflecting back around
now that i know that i let you down
no it’s not mine to mourn no
it’s just borne of this embarrassment
well it’s been bearable but it all compounds
now that i know that i let you down
now that i know that you changed your mind
now that i know
you won’t rely on me anymore
& i know
you can’t confide in me anymore
& i know
you won’t say hi when you see me around
now that i know that i let you down
thunder lives under my brain
& then the bugs above now circulate
so i alternate between the sounds
now that i know that i let you down
i wanna let these years away
i know it’s time we let these leaves turn red
but i can’t let this season lead me out
now that i know that i let you down
now that i know that you changed your mind
now that i know
you won’t rely on me anymore
& i know
you can’t confide in me anymore
& i know
you won’t say hi when you see me around
now that i know that i let you down
but so what?
so much
so what
so overdrawn
everyone you meet along
suffered an ellipsis & it’s done
one day
just one
not too much
now today
11 degrees on september 10
i see what you mean but come on
october 13 now with leo gone
paterson moves on
but not too much
your one & only life
your one & only mind
taking pictures down
taking boxes out
but so what?
tell it like it is
or it’s worthless
the day don’t mean as much
been enough between it to cover it up
one day
just one
not too much
your one & only life
your one & only night
taking pictures down
taking boxes out
but so what? so what!
swimming as a child down the shore
i was blurred under the undertow
& crossed into a borderline
i divined an image of myself
unraveling in patterns
& suddenly i’m back on the beach
sputtering into the moving trees
& birds above & clouds all
going on without me
they do hallucinate
a ladder to the sky
i wanna be a part of it
i wanna live my life
out
i turn over & cough into the sand
there’s sand in everything
& i howl like an animal
in the distance i see you running up
you’re shaking in relation
to everything i turn again
sputtering into the moving trees
& birds above & clouds all
going on without me
they do elucidate
a letter to the sky
i wanna be a part of it
i’m not ready to die
yet
coming up from every part of me
i feel it in my skeleton
i feel it like a brass key
opening an image in my mind
i wanna be alive
i wanna live my life
out
if it’s better
then why am i crying?
why am i so
struck with grief
about this one way things could be?
why am i so
stuck together?
& i fixate on the same
cyclone now
but how’s that help?
how’s that settle anything?
& when will it end?
cuz it’s been in my head
for a long time
& it feels wrong
& i don’t want it anymore
it spun in my head
for a long time
if it’s better
i mean it’s improved
not that it’s fine
not that i’m mad
it’s more that i want to be precise
well alright
when it visits
unbidden in the night
& i know i’m gonna cry
i know you’re trying to help
but i don’t need you right now
or ever again
cuz you’ve been in my head
for a long time
& it feels wrong
& i don’t want it anymore
it spun in my head
for a long time
get out of my head
get out of my mind
& it feels wrong
it feeEels wrong
& i don’t want it anymore
it spun in my head
for a long time
<&
i dial you at home again
i’m happy that you’re in
i’m laughing at an afterthought
it’s been happening a lot
with everything that’s happening though
when reality explodes
& suddenly we’re sinking
& i’m singing
& i’m old
now what were we talking about now?
i keep on losing count
i’m laughing & i don’t know why
a ripple off the sky
the steeple in the green of the clouds
seen the other way around
contrailing like corduroy
then spinning in the ground
well that’s the way the season sounds
the 11th hour now
when coal is cut across the sky
in saturated dye
in actual emergency now
it’s really going down
curled up by the fireside
the county sleeps tonight